180: Alexis Meads – If it’s not a fit, that’s O.K.

Alexis Meads is a Harvard educated Dating Coach and Dating Expert who founded AlexisMeads.com and the Crazy Wild Love Academy.

She has devoted her life to helping women all over the world love themselves and create extraordinary relationships.

Alexis is a regular contributor to The Huffington Post, Maria Shriver, Thought Catalog, and featured on many others.

Guiding Principle, Quote or Mantra

I don’t strong-arm and I don’t bend over backwards. If it’s not a fit, that’s o.k.

When You Tripped Up

Alexis shared a story of her first love experience. She met him when she was nineteen and they dated on and off for about 4 years. She was madly in love with him but felt like the timing was off and ultimately was using the relationship to fill a deep gap in her self-esteem. She used it as a way to fill a void. She realized after a while that it would cause a trip-up. That time would come when they both found themselves being unfaithful and continuously looking for something else.

That “Duh” moment in partnership

Leading up to getting married, Alexis had a lot of fear. So many of the ‘what if’ questions came to mind. Before their wedding, they married in a courthouse and she remembers having knots in her stomach, being so nervous, and doubting herself. Once it happened and they were leaving the courthouse, she felt this wave of peace pass over her. She felt so great, like this huge weight was lifted off her shoulders. She then realized that it was her intuition being clouded over by her fears. It was never him that made her fear the situation, but instead it was past programming that did.

Proudest moment in partnership

She referred back to the start of her relationship with her husband. She described it as being a real pattern breaker. Before her husband, she found herself dating the same type of guy over and over again and repeating that pattern. When she met her husband, she didn’t even look at him as a potential partner. They started out as friends and she really enjoyed spending time with him. As they spent more time together, she realized how at peace she felt with him and how kind and thoughtful he was. She realized that it’s not the instant fireworks that she’s been chasing her whole life that makes a great relationship. She then knew that this is what she wanted.

What is the best partnership / relationship advice you have ever received?

If you know you want to be with someone and see yourself with them for years to come, and know you’ll be great partners together, then maybe that’s all you can know.

Best Partnership Resource

The Queen’s Code – Alison Armstrong

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About the author, Ken

I am the producer and host of Speaking of Partnership, a podcast that was inspired by a life of wearing the badge of self-sufficiency and independence proudly, until I realized it wasn't really a badge...it was armor.

My passion is helping you experience the power and payoffs of partnership by understanding and appreciating the opposite sex so you can feel safe, confident and understood in your personal, professional and family partnerships.

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