112: Christy Whitman – Your Relationships are Inside of You

Christy Whitman is a transformational leader, abundance coach and the New York Times bestselling author of The Art of Having It All.

She has appeared on The Today Show and The Morning Show and her work has been featured in People Magazine, Seventeen, Woman’s Day, Hollywood Life, and Teen Vogue, among others.

Christy is the CEO and founder of the Quantum Success Learning Academy & Quantum Success Coaching Academy. She has helped thousands of people worldwide to achieve their goals through her empowerment seminars, speeches, and coaching sessions and products.

Christy’s life-changing message reaches over 200,000 people a month and her work has been promoted by and featured with esteemed authors and luminaries such as Marianne Williamson, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Marci Shimoff, Brian Tracy, Neale Donald Walsch, Abraham-Hicks, and Louise Hay.

She currently lives in Montreal with her husband, Frederic, and their two boys, Alexander and Maxim.

How She Got Started Doing This Work

Christy came across the law of attraction and Universal laws about 20 years ago, when nothing in her life was working.

She was in debt, her relationships were not working, she had gained 30 pounds and her connection spiritually was missing.

Christy started paying attention to her thoughts and changing them from lack to abundance and very quickly started to see her life shift right before her eyes. Within a year and a half of her paying attention to her thoughts everything turned around. Great relationship, out of debt, lost the weight and had a job that she liked.

Five years into her practice her first book “Perfect Pictures” came through her and getting it published started her on speaking and this led her to the coaching that she does today.

Guiding Principle, Quote or Mantra

Having a mentor or coach that she can turn to when Christy is off or stuck is what helps her get back on course as quickly as possible.

When You Tripped Up

Most of us come into partnerships with the patterns that we have learned. Christy considers herself a recovering rescuer.

In her partnerships this set up one person to be the rescuer and the other to be the victim.

So the rescuer thinks they are offering great help and the victim is like “I don’t want your help” which leads to resentment. It is often called the conflict or drama triangle.

What she learned is there is a difference between helping and rescuing.

When Christy made a commitment to no longer play the victim or the rescuer, she became free in her relationships. It completely transformed her relationship with her husband.

Fortunately, she was paying attention to her thoughts.

The “DUH” moment that changed your partnerships forever

Several years ago Christy came to her husband and said “You will never win.” 

What she had realized is that she had been so trained by the women in her family that men will never be enough. She was operating from the belief that no matter what he would never do enough, say enough, be enough, earn enough to fulfill her. And this was completely contrary to the abundance mindset that she teaches.

Christy noticed she was in a nitpicking, critical coming from lack, never satisfied, never enough thought process.

Then her husband realized that this is what the women in his family believed as well. So he had grown up witnessing his father never being enough.

In that moment they agreed to shift this and it completely changed their relationship.

Proudest moment in partnership

Christy is proud of how some relationships she had were released in 2016.

In a couple of business partnerships things were not working as well as they used to and did not feel right anymore. Instead of keeping this inside and making it turn sour in order to leave the partnership, she owned her experience and brought it forward.

Being real and honest with how she felt while honoring the other person allowed both of them to walk away still feeling good about the 10 years they were in partnership and the work they did do together.

What is the best partnership / relationship advice you have ever received?

Relationships never end. It is an energetic exchange that will never go away even if you are no longer together physically.

Clearing our past is very important because it will effect the power of your now.

And all our relationships are inside of us. So how you think of them and what you believe about them is what will manifest in our reality in the physical sense.

Best Partnership Book

Perfect Pictures

The Art of Having It All: A Woman’s Guide To Unlimited Abundance

Ask and It Is Given: Learning to Manifest Your Desires

Why Do People Resist the Law of Attraction So Much?

Christy’s experience is that people want someone or something to come rescue them.  They also what someone or something to blame.

The thing with Universal Law is you have to take responsibility for yourself and some people aren’t willing to do that.  So they say things like “It doesn’t work for me.”

Also the freedom that comes from realizing that you create your own reality can be scary.  So it is easier to dismiss it than embrace it.

Interview Links –

Christy’s website – sign up for FREE abundance webinar here

Christy’s Facebook

Christy’s Twitter

About the author, Ken

I am the producer and host of Speaking of Partnership, a podcast that was inspired by a life of wearing the badge of self-sufficiency and independence proudly, until I realized it wasn't really a badge...it was armor.

My passion is helping you experience the power and payoffs of partnership by understanding and appreciating the opposite sex so you can feel safe, confident and understood in your personal, professional and family partnerships.

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