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128: Jayson Gaddis – Have a growth mindset

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Jayson Gaddis is a relationship student & teacher and host of the Smart Couple Podcast, and is on a mission to teach people the one class they didn’t get in school–”How to do intimate relationships.”

That’s why he founded The Relationship School™. He was emotionally constipated for years before relationship failure forced him to turn his life over to learning about relationships. Now, he’s married to his amazing wife of 8 years and has two beautiful kids.  And when he doesn’t live and breathe this stuff with his family, he pretty much gets his ass handed to him.

Jayson will teach you how to use conflict to create a more fulfilling and sustainable relationship.  He teaches you that hidden within any and all “relationship pain” are the seeds of you getting more empowered in your life and more connected to yourself.

He teaches virtual relationship empowerment classes to students around the globe.  And even though many of his school teachers said he sucked at writing, he writes anyway for The Good Men Project & Elephant Journal, The Jungle Of Life, Primer Magazine, Integral Life, and Recovering Yogi.

Guiding Principle, Quote or Mantra

Relationships are about growth, not happiness.

When you have a growth mindset, then when your partner pisses you off or upsets you or does things that hurt your feelings, it’s not a problem.

When You Tripped Up

Early on in Jayson’s relationship with the woman who is now his wife he was studying psychotherapy and thought he really knew how to listen.

When he tried to apply the techniques he had learned with his then girlfriend, they didn’t really work.  And he kept trying them for years.

Through her loving feedback, which was challenging at times, Jayson learned how to listen in a way that worked for her.  And he realized he was mostly listening in a way that worked for him.

Jayson’s rule of thumb that he learned from this experience is that he doesn’t understand his wife until she feels understood and she says so. 

Proudest moment in partnership

Jayson was recently backpacking with his wife and kids and he essentially set up the trip for everyone.

As they watched the Sun set one evening, he looked over at the smiles on his family’s faces and was so proud and happy to have a family and partnership that he can do these types of things with.

Current Partnerships

Jayson and his wife make it a point to carve out time for a date night every week.  They are both crazy busy and they make it a priority. 

This commitment to connecting and supporting each other and challenging each other about their lives is huge for them.

What is the best partnership / relationship advice you have ever received?

Partnerships and relationships are about growth.  And they can be a path to becoming more of yourself.

Best Partnership Book

Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner’s Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship

The Payoff of Partnership

Having kids.

For Jayson this is the biggest payoff.  He knows he is a better person because he is a father and a husband.

None of this would have been possible if he didn’t partner with someone.

Jayson’s life is enhanced 10x because he is married to an amazing woman and they have a an awesome partnership.

More is possible in his life, in his business and everywhere else, when he’s plugged into her and their vibe is good and their on.  He can tackle the world.

There is something exceptionally powerful about having a woman in his life who has his back.

Interview Links –

Jayson’s website

Relationship School

The Smart Couple Podcast

About the author, Ken

I am the producer and host of Speaking of Partnership, a podcast that was inspired by a life of wearing the badge of self-sufficiency and independence proudly, until I realized it wasn't really a badge...it was armor.

My passion is helping you experience the power and payoffs of partnership by understanding and appreciating the opposite sex so you can feel safe, confident and understood in your personal, professional and family partnerships.

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