197: Treva Brandon Scharf – There is peace in surrender

Treva Brandon Scharf is a Los Angeles based writer, dating coach, fitness professional, radio host, and first-time bride at 50. With over 35 years in the fitness industry, and many more in the dating world, Treva knows first-hand how to achieve peak performance in both life and love.

Treva writes about surviving singledom and finding love later in life at her blog, “The Late Blooming Bride”. She’s also a contributor at Huffington Post, Hollywood Progressive, Midlife Boulevard, Curves Connect, and BetterAfter50.

Treva currently hosts the internet radio dating show “Done Being Single,” with her husband Robby, on the VoiceAmerica Radio Network.

When she’s not imparting dating wisdom or tough love, Treva volunteers as a Special Olympics coach, and a Fulfillment Fund mentor.

Guiding Principle, Quote, or Mantra

Surrender.

When You Tripped Up

Treva described her entire single life as a bunch of trip-ups and falls. Everything was trial and error. She’d meet a guy, date the guy, and break up with the guy. The worst trip up was with someone she met in her early 40’s. She was hell bent on making it work. The stakes were high and there was a lot riding on it, and her fertility window was closing. But, this happened to be the worst guy possible to try and make things work with.

Listen to the podcast to hear the rest of the story.

Your thoughts around men in their 50’s and why they haven’t been married until now?

When she first started to know her husband, she would always be asking questions about this topic. Things like – Why haven’t you been married before? Why are you single? There has to be something wrong with you? … In her husband’s case, he simply didn’t meet the right one. On the other side of things, she would be asked the same kind of stuff. People always assume something is wrong with the person if they haven’t been married. That’s just simply not the case.

What is the Best Partnership Advice You Have Ever Received?

Treva didn’t have any great advice. She felt she had poor role models.

The Payoff of Partnership

Treva is very independent and has always been used to doing things for herself. She was even a single child who never had the older sister or brother pave the way for her. What’s so great about partnership to Treva is having someone take care of her. She’s never had that in her life. Her husband is this great person who’s there for her and supports her.

Best Partnership Resource

The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom – Don Miguel Ruiz

Interview Links –

Her Website

The Late Blooming Bride

Done Being Single

Twitter

Instagram

Facebook

About the author, Ken

I am the producer and host of Speaking of Partnership, a podcast that was inspired by a life of wearing the badge of self-sufficiency and independence proudly, until I realized it wasn't really a badge...it was armor.

My passion is helping you experience the power and payoffs of partnership by understanding and appreciating the opposite sex so you can feel safe, confident and understood in your personal, professional and family partnerships.

1 Comment

  1. Ruth Maille on 07/25/2018 at 8:32 AM

    What a great interview Ken and Treva. Thank you for so many illuminating moments. One of my many favorite parts…. Giving up control and surrendering .. its a great feeling. As I have learned it can change your life. God / the universe has a better plan than any plan we can come up with. Ride the rapids…..

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