Rodolfo Young – Love is Not a Possession
Rodolfo is an author, speaker, and heart coach on a mission to Inspire 1 Million Hearts.
He has already touched the lives of thousands of people from all around the world.
Rodolfo has shared the stage with some of the world’s greatest leaders in transformational consciousness and is featured alongside people like Eckhart Tolle, Lisa Nichols, John Assaraf, Ken Wilbur, and T. Harv Ecker.
His books on love, life, beauty, relationship, and self-discovery are read by people all around the world.
Guiding Principle, Quote or Mantra
Love is not a possession to be exchanged. It is a resonance to be recognized.
We often think of love as something that is given and received, but that makes it an object and a possession. Which means it is something that can be lost.
The recognition of the resonance of love is a recognition of what you are feeling inside. It has nothing to do with the other person.
Love is something that is always there, but sometimes we forget and don’t recognize it.
When You Tripped Up
One of Rodolfo’s more recent relationships was long distance. And his partner ended up cheating on him, and he knew it was coming. And he was preparing himself as he waited for her to tell him.
When she finally came out and told him, he was able to forgive her very easily because he had already done his own work around it.
The trip-up was that the forgave but he didn’t express his process or his own pain. And that gave her the message that she could walk all over him because it doesn’t effect him. When really that wasn’t the case.
So when you go through things that cause us pain or hurt or there is some challenge, forgive, let go, surrender, move on but express. Because what you don’t express you suppress and anything suppressed comes back up to haunt you.
The “DUH” moment that changed your partnerships forever
Rodolfo’s “DUH” moment has to do with him not embodying the concept that he is only responsible for himself.
In a past partnership there was a moment when he realized he had absolutely no control over how she felt about a situation. He cannot be responsible for her.
Responsibility is the ability to respond. And there are times when we just don’t have the power to respond to something.
In the past when he would take on responsibility for his partner’s feelings when he really did not have the power to, it made him feel helpless. And that helplessness caused other issues in his relationships.
And realizing that he is not responsibly for her history was the biggest “DUH.”
Often at the beginning of relationships, as soon as we feel safe enough to be vulnerable with our partner, the first things that are going to come up are the wounds of the past.
And the mistake that’s made is people thing that its the partnership they are in right now creating those wounds or that trigger. When really their current partnership is creating the space for the wounds to come up to be healed.
Proudest moment in partnership
Moments of presence and surrender with a partner. He is excited and happy that he was able to let go with this person.
In a partnership whatever you can mentalize or theorize or coach is never going to be enough until you give them you and be vulnerable with them.
One of Rodolfo’s proudest moments is anytime he can put all his guards down and say “here I am.” and trust he is in safe hands.
Current Partnership that Has You Excited
Rodolfo’s partnership with himself is where his focus is now. He is in a year practice of silence and this is giving himself space to observe himself and letting himself receive.
He is typically a giver in relationships. And as much as his partner gives to him, he is not typically receiving what he is being given.
The practice he has started is thinking, what little gift can he give himself so he can practice receiving. So every week he gives himself a gift that he recognizes as a gift.
If we can’t receive in our relationships we then rob our partner of their ability to give
What is the best partnership / relationship advice you have ever received?
Express your truth and invite your partner into it.
Best Partnership Book or Resource
Intimacy: Trusting Oneself and the Other
The Payoff of Partnership
Rodolfo was in an argument with his girlfriend and had jumped in the swimming pool to cool off. His girlfriend was in the bedroom and she became aware that he was in turmoil and she saw that he was suffering and she wanted to support him.
This support allowed him to break through the anger he was feeling to, what is normally below it, grief and fear. And he burst into tears.
It was incredibly cathartic for him to know he was being held in safety even in his most intense emotion.
Interview Links –
Rodolfo’s Website – www.RodolfoYoung.com & www.Inspire1Millionhearts.com
About the author, Ken
I am the producer and host of Speaking of Partnership, a podcast that was inspired by a life of wearing the badge of self-sufficiency and independence proudly, until I realized it wasn't really a badge...it was armor.
My passion is helping you experience the power and payoffs of partnership by understanding and appreciating the opposite sex so you can feel safe, confident and understood in your personal, professional and family partnerships.