097: Jo Emerson – Be Yourself!

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Jo Emerson is a leading confidence coach and human behavior expert, plugging people back into their authentic selves so they can reach their full potential at home and at work.

She’s also the author of Flying for Beginners (a Proven System for Lasting Self Confidence) and the popular online course, 5 Steps to Lasting Confidence.

Her most important job, however, is being mum to her three daughters Beth, Eva and Nancy. You can find her at www.jo-emerson.com

Guiding Principle, Quote or Mantra

Are the thoughts you are believing rooted in fear or rooted in love?

Typically if you are feeling “off” your thoughts are rooted in abject fear.

Ask “what would love or wisdom say to me?  This will immediately help you calm down so you can get on and do the next right thing and the next right thing after that.

What are you listening to?  Fear or love.  Fear or wisdom.  Fear or truth.

This will bring you back into the “now” where you can step into gratitude.

How does confidence relate to shyness?

All of us are quite naturally shy in some situation or another.  So you can be confident in most every situation, except for one or a few.

Even the most confident people can have moments of being really shy.

If you can be shy and have the confidence to own your shyness can be quite attractive.

Confidence is a deeper thing.  Shyness is often momentary.

When You Tripped Up

Jo got divorced 5 years ago and going through the pain of ending that relationship taught her a lot about partnership.

The agony of separating from something she thought would be forever was huge.  However, in terms of partnership, perhaps being apart has made them better partners.

Proudest moment in partnership 

When Jo’s was pregnant with her second daughter, Eva, she was sick the entire time.  So she was kind of looking forward to giving birth to her so the sickness would be over.

And unlike the birth of her first daughter, when she was terrified, Jo decided she was not going to be afraid this time.

She asked her midwife how to get over the pain.  And the midwife told her “You use the pain, to push.”

When the next contraction came, Jo dug underneath the pain and found some strength.  The pain lifted and she was able to push.  And just 40 minutes later her daughter was born.

This midwife got onboard with Jo’s determination and gave her the courage and the self belief that she could have a different experience.  And she did.

Current Partnership that Has You Excited

The title for Jo’s first book “Flying for Beginners” came to her while she was washing up in the kitchen on day.  Almost like an angel dropped it into her head.

Two years later the book poured out of her in just 4 months.

All the publishers liked the book but they wanted it to be four times longer because 80,000 word books apparently sell well and 20,000 word books not so well.

Jo knew the book did not need to be longer.  And she decided to self publish it with the assistance of her marketing gal, Becca, they self published.

Jo is not technical, and Becca jumped in and learned how to self-publish and code a website and everything that was needed to make it happen technically.

Without her partnership with Becca this book would never have happened.

What is the best partnership / relationship advice you have ever received?

Be yourself!

So often when we are seeking relationship or love or wanting to attract someone, it is so tempting to become who we think people want us to be.  And it just doesn’t work.

If you are the one doing the pretending, you end up feeling compromised.

It is always worth it to wait for someone who thinks this person who laughs really loudly and doesn’t stop talking is perfect for me.  Instead of shaving off parts of yourself in order to fit some mold and feeling miserable.

This goes for business and parenting and friendships as well. 

Being yourself is different from compromising.  Compromise on the color you paint a room or which movie to go to on Saturday night, but do not compromise on who you are as a person.

Best Partnership Book

Flying For Beginners: A Proven System for Lasting Self Confidence

Games People Play: The Psychology of Human Relationships

Interview Links –

Jo’s website – Advice column

Jo’s Facebook Link

Jo’s Twitter Link

Jo’s Instagram

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About the author, Ken

I am the producer and host of Speaking of Partnership, a podcast that was inspired by a life of wearing the badge of self-sufficiency and independence proudly, until I realized it wasn't really a badge...it was armor.

My passion is helping you experience the power and payoffs of partnership by understanding and appreciating the opposite sex so you can feel safe, confident and understood in your personal, professional and family partnerships.

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